camping

Dear Mother,

  What are you doing today?  I think about that a lot!  ...did you come to see us?  I hope, if you did, that it was a pleasant visit, though thinking back on the day it might very well not have been.  Reuben is so BORED!  you know, "there is absolutely nothing to do!"  He mowed the grass today.  I love that he is getting old enough to do some hard jobs around the house.  The other day I left Julia (asleep) with him in the house to "watch" her, while I went to the dentist.  It was awesome!  I can smell a little more freedom. (:  

We went camping this weekend.  We hiked, ate good food, caught baby frogs (I hate them), and swam in the lake...

They caught two frogs,,...they made it home the 2 hour drive, and then were dead the next morning.  Can you tell I'm not sad?

I know you wish you could just eat her up!  She is so cute!!

Graham had a hard time sleeping that night in the tent.  We were sleeping close together and I reached out and held his hand and within a few minutes he fell asleep.  He is such a sweet boy.  I love that I am his mother, all of them!  

I was thinking back to when you were in the hospital after brain surgery.  Do you remember how you said (before surgery) to Lizette and I that you knew how they were going to do it?  You said they were just going to skim your scalp a little and then fix that tumor, then sew it all back to look good.  I laughed and said it would be a bit more invasive than that and then Lizette gave me that look of death only older sisters can give!  I love you Lizette! 

Anyway, I thought the other night about how when right after surgery we each visited you a few at a time in ICU and I was holding my breath wondering what you would look like or how you would sound.  You were a little druggy and very tired, but still just Mom.  I felt this aching to just have you all there again, just back like you.  You were, but not quite.  I think you never leave that feeling of needing Mother.  I miss you.  I love you, but I'm okay today that you've got to be gone....tomorrow may be another story.